Our relationship is broken. This has been clear to me for quite some time. What wasn't clear was if it was still fixable, or if it would turn out to be permanent. If so, then I believe it would be best to accept this and move on, rather than tear ourselves apart, becoming increasingly bitter and resentful.
It's now been six months since I moved out. In that time, neither of us has taken any steps to address what is really broken in our relationship. I feel that this indicates that, regardless of what we may want or tell each other, we both feel inside that this is not reparable. I don't want to point fingers or cast blame on you or myself; I think it's just how things are.
At this point, I no longer wish to try to maintain the level of closeness that we have both been seeking the past few months. By this I mean lunch dates, dinner dates, me hanging out at the house to watch tv or do laundry or sleep or have sex. These things are all comforting and familiar, but they are not helping me any more. I have been feeling torn and stressed the past couple of weeks, as my heart and my brain tug me in opposite directions. So I have decided to bring it to a close, to make it easier to move on with my life. This is distressing to me, and I expect it will be to you as well, but I feel it is necessary.
This does not mean I wish to end all contact. Obviously we are both still Taylor's parents and act together for her benefit, and there may well be other items where need to interact. But contact just for the sake of familiarity, or to keep loneliness at bay, is not something I am okay with anymore.
1 comment:
You can and you will. You are so strong, hon. Letting go can be terrifying and very sad. But doing so requires so much strength and courage, which you have in abundance.
/tighthug
much love.
Bre
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