Sex Ed

Brett and I were talking the other day, and we agreed that being in 6th grade means it's time for more thorough talks with Taylor about sex. Not the "where do babies come from" talk - we've covered that long time ago, and she's got a pretty good handle on at leasts the basics of biology, anatomy, and reproduction. Plan to go into some more detail, but that won't be a big deal. Also want to cover stuff like birth control, relationships, why people have sex, and why they don't. I'm a believer in giving kids lots of information, so they can at least have a chance to know what they're doing, and letting them know that you see that you're comfortable talking about it - that you see it as a part of life & not something to be embarrassed about.

And for the most part, I'm pretty comfortable with this. It's how I was raised, and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. I've never believed that teaching kids about sex encourages them to have sex, any more than wearing seatbelts encourages people to drive into brick walls. I also would just as soon she not "save herself for marriage." From personal experience, I know that two virgins having sex can be awkward, clumsy, and unsatisfying. I want her to enjoy her wedding night, ya know? So, at some point, she's going to make some choices, and I want her to be ready to make good ones. And I want her to be comfortable getting answers to any questions she has - whether from me, her mother, or books - not rely on friends who may or may not know what they're talking about.

For the most part, I think Brett and I can share this job. We pretty much see eye-to-eye on a lot of this. There are a couple of areas where I'm pretty ignorant, though, and probably would muck things up if I talked to Taylor about them. One obvious one is menstruation. The fact that I'm okay buying tampons at the grocery store hardly is sufficient qualification. I'd do my best if I had to, but I think it's okay to let her mother handle this subject.

One that's not so obvious is masturbation. Now, for a boy this would be pretty easy - the mechanics are straightforward, and mostly you just need to remind them to stop from time to time. But for a girl? I know it's more complex, not just the act itself but the whole significance of it. And I know it's different from person to person. And that's about as much as I know. And I don't think it's something I can leave to Brett. She told me early in our marriage that she'd tried it one time as a teen, didn't get much out of it, and never masturbated again. I can't help but think that masturbation is part of a healthy sex life, and Taylor's going more information than either of us can give her. But, I'm flying blind here - maybe it's not so big a deal as I'm making it. Tried looking on Amazon for a book that might help with this, but so far all I've found is sex ed primers and softcore porn, neither of which is any help. Bleh. Gotta keep looking, I guess.