An article in Salon is talking about politeness and sexism and manners and "benevolent sexism" and punching feminists and all that stuff. The thing that jumped out at me in all this was how many people obsess about holding the door open for someone else. Is it acceptable? Is it sexist? Is it both, or is it just rude? Everyone's got an opinion, or an anecdote, or something.
What. The. Hell?
Here is my experience: when I go through a door (or open a door and am about to go through it) and I see someone approaching with the obvious intent of also going through the door, I hold the door so it doesn't close in their face. Usually I get a "thank you", sometimes there is no feedback. Conversely, when I am approaching a door someone else has just used, they almost always hold it open so it doesn't close in my face, and I say "thank you". It all takes about a second, and then we go on our separate ways. Certainly, nobody has ever yelled at me or threatened violence over it.
Now, nowhere in this is anybody's sex a factor. Ever. I hold the door for women and men alike, women and men alike hold the door for me. There's no chivalry, no condesencion, no fears of "does it make me kind of a fag?" It's just people being polite to each other, and it's never mattered whether I was in Texas or New York or California or Iowa.
Does these dynamics suddenly alter when neither party is a middle-aged nondescript guy? Or is the whole thing nothing more than a memory from how things were in some antideluvian era when everyone let the door close in guys' faces, a memory that keeps us from noticing how the world actually works today?
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
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1 comment:
Same here, Ratters, I say thank you and often get them back in turn on doors being held or holding them. It's not sexism, it's just common courtesy!
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