Flight Safety & Story Time

Bit of a blip in the news today: a regional jet landed at JFK with one wheel up. One dingleberry passenger decided to video the view out his window and post it on YouTube. Lots of sparks, but since a wheel-up landing is something pilots routinely train for there was no real drama, and everyone walked away unharmed. On the video, you can hear the flight attended repeatedly commanding the passengers "Heads down! Stay down!" Now, in a serious situation which is totally out of their control, people have a tendency to want to know what is going on, which in this case would tend to involve looking out the window (or possibly fiddling with your video camera). This maximizes the chances that your head is going to get bounced around like a rubber ball, doing all sorts of unpleasant things to your neck. So, strong, assertive, repeated, unambiguous instructions on what to do are a pretty good idea, and that's why flight attendants are trained to do this.

Yet a number of people left complaining comments on the various articles. Some said she's shrill. Some said she's annoying. Some said they have the right to do whatever the damn well they please, if they're going to die anyway. Some said she wasn't calming and soothing. All of them are pretty damn ignorant fucktards.

Flash back to 1937 or so. TWA DC-2 at an airport in the Midwest, with some serious storms in the area. The two pilots (one of whom, Tommy, would eventually become my grandfather) are discussing whether to take off or cancel the flight. They of course had far less meteorological information available to them than modern pilots would, so there was a fair amount of educated guesswork to the process. The stewardess, (Ruth, who would later become my grandmother) stuck her head in the cockpit and asked if they intended to take off.

"Yeah, we're thinking we might," says one pilot.

"Okay, if you decide to go, let me know so I can jump off," Ruth replies, and goes back into the cabin.

There's a pause. "You think she means it?"

"I think she does," says Tommy. They decided to cancel the flight.

Flight attendants. Keeping passengers safe for over seventy years.