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Navigating the 21st Century waters in a 20th Century vessel.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Dating

Is it proper for a married man to date? It certainly doesn't feel proper. I mean, if I were to be totally up front about my current situation - separated, doesn't see any real hope of reconciliation but not yet ready to file for divorce, still in love with my wife even though living with her made me miserable - I have no doubt that any woman with a bit of sense would split post haste. Who would want to get entangled in that mess? Even at a casual, have dinner from time to time level. And being anything other than completely open is not acceptable.

On the other hand, pretty much all I know about dating comes from sitcoms, where everyone is young and beautiful and has great clothes and homes they couldn't possibly afford. Not the most authoritative source....

Thinking about it, there ought to be other people in similar situations, yes? Maybe a little farther down the path, but not ready to jump in the deep end. Or even the shallow end. Or any more than sit on the edge and dangle their toes in the water for a minute.

I tried looking into on-line dating services just now. Holy crap, was that intimidating. After skipping over the ones which weren't applicable (services for ethnic groups, religious affiliations, homosexuals, swingers, millionaires, etc.) pretty much everything I looked at was promising single women serious about a relationship looking for single men serious about a relationship. That's not me, at least not now. Possibly not for a long time. If I were to go this route, and I ain't saying I am, what I'd be looking for would be something with other people like me - confused, trying to start over and not wanting to take more than tiny steps and utterly clueless about how to do so. One would think there's some sort of market for that, yes? Gonna take more than a five-minute search to find it, apparently.

Or should I just wait until my situation is more resolved, and maybe it'd be easier. And proper.

1 comment:

Arleen said...

Maybe the best thing to do it just let it happen. Like you said you aren't ready for anything serious but it sounds what you need more than someone to date is a friend to hang out with, to help put thing in perspective and keep it light.

Just one day at a time hon, I am sure she, friend or more than a friend, will show up when you least expect it :D

/hugs