It's Not Right

Julie and I both feel we've been waiting our whole lives to find each other. All the bad marriages, bad relationships, missteps, miscues, have taught us so much about who we are, and about what we want. Had we met twenty years ago, neither of us would have been the least attracted to each other. But now we know that we belong together, that we can be happy together. And everything is going to be as it should, finally.

This morning, Julie found out she has breast cancer. We don't know yet how bad it is, what the prognosis will be. But even best case, it won't be good. Physical pain and misery, financial stress, worry. And it very well may not be best case. The thought that I could lose the woman I belong with, now that I've finally found her, is terrifying. But I know Julie needs me to be strong for her, to help her, to be with her, because as bad as is this for me, it's much worse for her. I don't know how I'm going to do this, I just know I have to.

This just isn't right.

Update: Talked to a good friend whose mom is currently undergoing treatment for breast cancer. It helped a lot. I feel a lot less panicky now. No matter what, I am so, so glad Julie won't have to be alone.