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Navigating the 21st Century waters in a 20th Century vessel.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Life update

Things I now have:
1) A non-stick frying pan
2) A plastic spatula for my non-stick frying pan
3) Grunty!
4) Table and chairs
5) Small dog's mouth-sized holes in my sofa cushions

Things I do not yet have:
1) iPhone
2) Book 5 in the Song of Ice and Fire series
3) Food processor
4) A positive cash flow
5) Peanut butter

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

World of Warcraft Update

If you don't play World of Warcraft, feel free to not read this one. It probably won't make any sense.

Julie and I just got back from BlizzCon. I thought it was okay but not great. My favorite part was getting to meet friends whom I'd only known through the internet before, like TJ and Hydra. My least favorite part was how dark it was in the convention. I guess they were trying to set a gaming atmosphere, and it may have worked for a lot of folks, but I don't see well in the dark without my glasses, and I hadn't brought them because I wasn't planning to do much driving. So mostly I was squinting a lot and fumbling around, and it's hard to relax and enjoy under those conditions. Ah well.

Ratshag's little Horde guild has come a long way in the past 10 months. We've started doing heroics, and people are talking about wanting to recruit a bit so we can do some 10-man raids. There's been a bit of burn-out and ennui, but nothing like what we were undergoing at this point in Burning Crusade. I'd like to think my leadership and formulating long-term plans had something to do with that. It strokes my ego, doncha know?

On the Alliance side, I have two level 80s, both in BBB's Sidhe Devils guild. Vyp the death knight is now geared up to where she can do respectable dps in a Naxx raid, and I've brought Kinnavieve the tankadin over from her old guild. There are times I miss Aetherial Circle, but then I remind myself that I was missing it even when I was still there. Guilds are dynamic, living entities, with people joining and leaving all the time for many reasons, and AC had become a more hard-core, less silly place as a result. SD is a much more relaxed place, with no pressure to keep up with the Joneses, and at this point in my life that's exactly what I need. And it seems to be working out for Julie as well (hooray!). I had been reluctant to ask her to transfer her characters over, because I wasn't sure she'd be okay in such a laid-back place, but she's adjusted to it.

Hoping to get several more characters to 80 before the expansion hits next year. Got Ratdorf the priest at 71, Kalishna the death knugget at 60, Orctacles at 44, Alayda the shaman at 35, and Danger Mouse the rogue at 33. Should be no problem to get them all there, right?

Sunday, August 16, 2009

One Year Anniversary

It's been a year since I moved out of the house. At the time I was hoping it was a temporary thing, that a little space would lower the stress levels enough that Brett and I could figure out how to love each other again, how to live together again. What I found was I didn't want to go back, that I was much happier not trying to share my life with her. For a while, I was conflicted, grasping at small glimmers of hope for reconciliation as if they were life preservers, only to have reality crush those hopes into the mud. Or drown them, I guess would fit better with the metaphor. I finally screwed up my courage and told her I was done trying to make it work, done trying to keep the love alive. It was clear to me that, for both of us, it was quite dead.

It's been five months since I told Brett I wanted a divorce. Naively, I thought that if I proposed terms which were much more favorable to her than what the law requires that she would see that it was a good deal, and accept before I came to my senses and changed my mind. The law in Texas is you split everything 50-50, assets and liabilities, and pay spousal support temporarily if one spouse needs some time to get their shit together and find a job. Instead, I basically proposed that she get all the cash and I get all the debt, plus I'd pay $1700 a month for nine months after the divorce, plus I'd pay for the house (which she would live in) until Taylor goes to college in six years, at which point we'd sell it and split the proceeds.

She weren't having that. It was like a sitcom episode, where the guy tries to tell his girlfriend he wants to break up, only to have her say "Yeah, that doesn't work for me. So where are we going for dinner tonight?" Brett has refused to agree to anything without talking to a lawyer first. Fine. But she hasn't bothered to talk to a lawyer. She's pretty much stopped talking about it at all. I want to be a good guy. I want to give her a chance to come to terms with this, and to find a way to decouple our financial lives in a way that allows her to stand on her feet. But she doesn't have the right to make me put my life on hold forever, and after five months enough is enough.

Before a judge will hear my petition for a divorce, we have to try mediation, with a professional mediator. I welcome this. I want an agreement with Brett, not something handed down by a judge after two lawyers have tossed hand grenades around the room. I called Brett today, and told her that this would be coming, that my lawyer would let her know when a date was set. I told her that I would be open to discussing any changes or wholesale alterations to my proposal. That I was definitely not going into this with a "not one penny more" attitude. That I wanted to give her time to think it through and figure out what would work for (quietly leaving out that she's had months already). Her response? "Thank you for the heads up."

Will she show up to the mediation session? Will she say anything? Will she use it as an opportunity to try to lash out, or look helpless? Or will we actually be able to reach an agreement so that we both can move on with our lives?

I guess I'll find out.